We couldn’t help but notice that the Google scribble on Tuesday, September 27th was a “Happy 13th Birthday”. We weren’t exactly sure if every September 27th Google posts a different birthday scribble (although it was less a scribble and more a photo), or if there was some specific significance to this birthday (we’ll have to check back next year to be sure). Then is dawned on us… “What if Google is Jewish?” Now that would make sense, as a Bar Mitzvah is observed on the thirteenth birthday.
But then we thought, “Well, maybe Google isn’t Jewish”, in which case it would be awfully silly to be wishing you a happy Bar Mitzvah, so we called a meeting of all of our top management in order to discuss the matter. After several hours of deliberation, it was decided that it was better to wish you a happy Bar Mitzvah and have you tell us you were not Jewish, than say nothing, in which case if it did turn out that you are Jewish, you might have been upset that we didn’t say anything.
Of course, the question was also raised “What if Google is a girl?”, in which case we should be we should be wishing you a happy Bat Mitzvah. Again we assembled our brightest executives, debating if Google were male, female, or perhaps no gender whatsoever (being that you’re essentially a search engine, and we don’t know too many search engines personally). Once again, after long hours of heated discussion, it was decided that you were likely genderless, and the more generic ‘Bar Mitzvah’ might be more appropriate.
At any rate, if you are Jewish, then Mazel Tov to you! And if you’re not, well,
Happy Birthday Google!
The Staff of Cutting Edge Entertainment